In our culture sexual decision-making in the young is primarily a guy pushing as far as he can and a girl stopping him by pushing away a hand or objecting.  But it's already gone farther than she is comfortable.  We don't talk to, or teach, our children about all the steps between holding hands and kissing to sexual intercourse.

We don't even know, as parents, what is okay and what is not.

On our last night of the Sexuality Series parents made a list of many of the "steps" between holding hands and intercourse.  They're listed to the left.  Then parents marked what age they were okay with on each.

In the end, we need to tell our boys to ask permission, rather than just forge ahead until they're stopped.  And we need to tell our girls that telling a boy to ask, first, is the right thing to do and often the most romantic.

As one of our parents said, "This is about basic respect."  Which it is.  But boys and girls need to hear the words and practice talking about kissing, touching and being sexual before exploring and experimenting.